Wednesday, June 8, 2016
So I am a very caring person and I will do just about anything for anyone, sometimes to a fault. Okay usually to a fault. Usually at the expense of my family or at the very least my husband, which is not something I am proud of. However, in the moment, I will do what is needed to help anyone. It's after those moments when the people I help or reach out to completely and totally ignore me, treat me like I am a stranger on the street or someone they just friended on facebook out of nosey convenience or obligation that I regret being that person. I regret being kind, I regret having a big heart and I question my decision to remain in those relationships. This is something I am struggling with and it's something like really came to light in the last few weeks that maybe some relationships shouldn't be forced. Some relationships shouldn't take this much effort and some relationships are just toxic. I can't just say this instead I sit in silence. My silence may come as a welcome sound to some but know when I am silent, that means I have stopped caring or in the very least stopped trying so hard to care or make it work. My silence shouldn't be a welcomed relief if it is, then I wish I would have been spared the heartache of trying a long time ago.