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Friday, November 18, 2016

Lots of Memories

My dad has been gone 798 days.  This time of year is bringing a flood of emotions and memories.  Thinking of the last few days, weeks, months with him.  Thinking of the last time he came here and the times before that when we took it for granted that he'd be coming back.  Thinking of when he was originally diagnosed and being told it's not that bad.  He can beat this.  Thinking of the time we thought he did beat it.  Thinking of all of the stuff he has missed.  Serena has been in Mulan, Seussified, Shrek and now Charlie Brown Christmas...xander has been in Mulan, Shrek and now Charlie Brown Christmas.  Serena has graduated grade school, gotten confirmed and started in high school.  She had field shows, soccer conditioning and a bunch of mostly nonsignificant milestones that to my dad would have been significant.  Xander is a boy scout, loves soccer and tball.  Dad has miss every single one of those events and i know if he was here he would have made it a point to show up to all of that.  He would have been at her graduation party and he would have spent the weekend with them.  I miss that.  I took that for granted and now I wish I had that and more all over again.  Things have changed so much since his death.  More than I ever imagined.  New people have come into my life and some people have chosen to leave our lives.  I made the mistake of coming across an email of his earlier today and that made me miss him more.  The lights parade is this weekend and that made me miss him more.  Thanksgiving is next weekend and you guessed it, i miss him more.

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