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Friday, September 12, 2014

Farewell Dad.

This is probably going to be long and rambly.  But here it goes.  

My dad passed away yesterday.  How ironic the most patriotic man I know dies on Patriot Day.  

We have known this day was going to come sooner than later for a while now.  
But nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent.  

I will miss our conversations that we would have after everyone went to bed when I visited.  
I will miss him saying "bite me" to everyone.  I will miss his smirk.  I will miss reminiscing with him.  

I am proud of the man that he became.

I am proud of how hard he fought and never complained.

Dad has battled this disease for 18 plus months.  He fought til the very last day and never gave up.  

He was worried about Connie.  
And I am sure worried about his kids and grandkids.  
We will be okay.  

I will miss him but I am glad he is not suffering anymore.  It was getting hard to see someone that you saw as unbeatable so tired and worn and just exhausted.  

I  am in awe at the support we have here.  Connie will be fine.  People here at so awesome, kind and caring.  They have treated us like family and gone above and beyond anything any employer would normally do.  So to the people at Hawthorne.  Thank you.  

I may have lost my dad but I have gained an angel.  I truly believe in guardian angels.  

I have also gained a family.  Like I told one of the Harmans, they have me as long as they will let me stick around.  Connie has been a part of my life for 18 years.  That's a long time to know someone.  The Harmans have treated me like family.  Not step family.  Like true honest to god family.  They have been amazing and I am grateful for that.  So thank you to the Harman Family.  

Thank you for all of the support and love to everyone.  Everyone who has helped us in any way the last several months so I could be here where I needed to be.  

As far as arrangements go, there will be private services at a later date.  Thank you for the continued support and love.  It means more than I can ever say.  

Monday, September 8, 2014

what to say?

Be thankful.  Appreciate everyone in your life.  You never know when that person won't be there.  Some of us have a fairy tale life of growing up with two parents.  Some of us don't.  I didn't.  Before anyone gets pissy. Keep reading.  I am thankful for the way my life turned out.  My mother did an awesome job of raising us.  Providing for us.  That included providing a wonderful father figure.  Growing up I used to think there was something wrong. Now looking back everything was perfect.  I have wonderful parents.a mom...two dads and stepmom.  I love them all.  Sure I have had a rocky relationship with them all at some point. But I wouldn't change anything.  As much as all the heartache hurts all of that happened and all of that shaped who I am.  Without my parents meeting...there would be no me.  There would be no tanya.   If my parents didn't get a divorce god only knows what our lives would be like but I know it wouldn't be as good as it is now.  We would have been raised the way we were.  We wouldn't have the extra love and support we have.  We wouldn't be us.'. Everything happens for a reason.  We may not u derstand it....we may not agree with it but does.
Now I have to remind myself of that the next few weeks or whatever it is we have with my dad.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Life, Friends and Family

It seems lately I have a lot to be thankful for.
Ryan - for being a huge support when I am gone and a huge support when he comes with me.  And for just putting up with my lack of motivation when I am home.

Mom - for taking care of Xander this weekend.  Taking him to his soccer game (despite him trying to lead you to the wrong park), feeding him breakfast (despite him trying to con a cheeseburger out of you), and nursing his sore back with ice in the form of a popsicle.

Tanya - for coming with me this weekend.  I am glad you are here.

Kris - for being someone my daughter can go to and is comfortable around when I am not around for things.  And for raising an amazing young lady who is a great friend and support to serena when she needs it most.

Jessica - for bringing serena to her first concert.

Sarah - for taking Xander on occasion for us.

Andrea, Katie and Jenni for the occasional dogsitting.

my employer - the time I have been allowed to take during the last few months means the world to me.  I know I made the right choice about my employment.

The rest of my friends who check in on me and offer their assistance.  I have not been able to take you all up on it but I appreciate it.

Melanie B. - just being you and being someone I can lean on .

Jenny F.  - another person who is just there.  Knowing you are there to listen or talk means the world to me.