See ya later or maybe not as much

Now that I caught everyone's attention.  I will probably be around minimally for the next 3 years.

After much deliberation, thought, prayer, meetings, counseling, discussion, etc, I have decided with my husband's (and kids) support to go back to college.  I am a college graduate (from Hickey) but only got my diploma because I, at the age of 18, thought I knew it all and just wanted to be done.

For years I have contemplated going back but never took the thought much further than that....a thought.  I always felt bad going back.

Why now?  Hickey contacted me because January 2017 is the last time I am eligible to enroll in their bridge program to graduate with a Bachelor's from that school.  After talking to a good friend and mentor, I compared the programs at Lindenwood to the program at Hickey and have decided Lindenwood is the best option for my family.

I registered for my first cluster of classes, and already have my first assignment, due the first day of class.  I start my communications cluster on January 5th.  The last piece waiting to finalize is my financial aid award letter which I will not be getting for a few weeks but people are guessing what my big news is and I have gotten some pm's all over the board.

That being said, I will be devoting less time online, and less time on extra curricular activities and more time on school for the next three years.

I am nervous and excited all at the same time.  Am I stupid for waiting 17 years to go back?  Am I stupid for going back now at the age of 35?  Am I stupid for going to college when in a few years we will be sending one to college?  The answer to all of this is no.  I am not stupid. This will only benefit me.  I know this now but I was terrified of making this leap and the implications it will have on my family but I am hopeful that the short term disturbances in our every day life will be worth it's weight in gold when I am done with school.

Lots of Memories

My dad has been gone 798 days.  This time of year is bringing a flood of emotions and memories.  Thinking of the last few days, weeks, months with him.  Thinking of the last time he came here and the times before that when we took it for granted that he'd be coming back.  Thinking of when he was originally diagnosed and being told it's not that bad.  He can beat this.  Thinking of the time we thought he did beat it.  Thinking of all of the stuff he has missed.  Serena has been in Mulan, Seussified, Shrek and now Charlie Brown Christmas...xander has been in Mulan, Shrek and now Charlie Brown Christmas.  Serena has graduated grade school, gotten confirmed and started in high school.  She had field shows, soccer conditioning and a bunch of mostly nonsignificant milestones that to my dad would have been significant.  Xander is a boy scout, loves soccer and tball.  Dad has miss every single one of those events and i know if he was here he would have made it a point to show up to all of that.  He would have been at her graduation party and he would have spent the weekend with them.  I miss that.  I took that for granted and now I wish I had that and more all over again.  Things have changed so much since his death.  More than I ever imagined.  New people have come into my life and some people have chosen to leave our lives.  I made the mistake of coming across an email of his earlier today and that made me miss him more.  The lights parade is this weekend and that made me miss him more.  Thanksgiving is next weekend and you guessed it, i miss him more.

I am blessed....

because I have wonderful friends.  Some new, some old, some close and some far away, some related and some not but I am blessed.  I have friends that I can count on and are there for me when I need them.

Shriners

I have come to the realization to be thankful for my children's health.  Xander had to go to Shriner's today.  Being at any of the phenomenal Children's Hospitals in St. Louis reminds me to count my blessings.

Xander's situation while minor in nature compared to what a lot of people face is kind of a big deal or could be if physical therapy doesn't work.

So wish us luck with physical therapy over the next year (yep you read that timeframe right).  Xander is actually a candidate to have corrective surgery done now for his femoral anteversion or more commonly known as intoeing.  This kid, literally, trips over his own feet.  His left one is an issue more than his right.  Now I know this is common but I also know some cases are worse than others.  We noticed an issue when he was 3 but was told to wait til he was 5 or 6 because it could correct itself as he grew and if not he would be sent to a specialist.  So we changed pediatricians at the age of 5 and when we saw his new pediatrician he said let's watch it for a while longer.  Now he is 7, getting involved with sports and more active and trips more.  He falls a lot.  And while we were walking one night we realized how intoed he was.  Dr. B did his well visit and gave us a referral to Shriner's.  So that's where we went today.

This place was awesome (as far as hospitals go).  Xander was amazed at the little pagers they gave us telling us when to go where, the colorful circles on the floor and the changing screen on the wall (it was a piano, a fish tank and several other things in the few short minutes in that waiting room).

We met with his doctor, a nurse and nurse practitioner.  They said that he has severe femoral anteversion of his left leg and minor in the right.  It's bad enough surgery is an option but not immediate option.  We need to do physical therapy for a while to see if stretching the muscles will loosen them up some making it easier for him to correct the way his foot turns.  However, even with physical therapy the only way to truly "fix" the issue is surgery.  While he is a candidate for surgery, we are going to try physical therapy first because if it helps him enough to where he is not tripping over his own feet consistently then it will be worth it.  The surgery requires them to break/cut his femur and correct the placement of it.  This would require a 3 to 4 month total recovery time and a couple day stay at Shriners.  That being said we pray for the therapy to work and Xander is very cooperative because he doesn't want surgery (and neither do we).

This could be genetics and it could be from sitting like this as a child.  So remind your kids to sit criss cross applesauce and say no to the "w."

In the meantime, Xander is somewhat enjoying his exercises:

I did ask if we waited too long for treatment and they said no.  7 is about the earliest this doctor would even agree to start physical therapy because they need some coordination and ability to understand directions.

mother in laws

So i have seen a lot of posts, memes posted lately poking fun or complaining about mother in laws.  It makes me sad to see this.  But count your blessings.  You have one.  Yes she may drive you crazy, but you have one.  Yes she may be opinionated, but you have one. Yes she tries to tell you how to raise your children, but you have one.  Yes she says I would never do it that way, but you have one.  You have a mother in law.  Appreciate it.

I don't have a mother in law.  I do but she's not here and hasn't been since before we got married.  She only got to meet 3 of her 7 grandchildren.  Only 2 of those 7 have any recollection of meeting her.  She has a husband, 4 sons and tons of siblings, nieces, nephews, inlaws that all miss her terribly.  Especially around the holidays.

So be grateful for your nagging mother in law.  Some of us don't have one and our husbands, kids and ourselves are missing out on a wonderful lady.  Some days I would give anything to have her tell me I am doing something the wrong way because that would mean my husband didn't lose his mother to cancer and my  kids would know their grandma.

My Year in Review

Here is a look at what I wanted for 2015.  

I did a 5k with my sister and finished in 48.33.  

Not too bad.  And I think that's better than any other time I have had 

because I don't think I ever finished under 50 min.  

We went on vacation!  And loved it.  

I really really really really want to go back in 2016.

Cruises are the way to go.
Ryan however doesn't want to go every year.

We had Dad's memorial.
Glad that is behind us.



Here is what we have to look forward to in 2016:
Serena is getting confirmed.
She is graduating grade school.
we have freshman night at Central next month
and then registration in March.
YIKES.  where did the time go?

Xander doesn't have much going on other than telling me
oh yeah mom I signed up for basketball.

and I am still studying my Series 6 and 63. 

Christmas is here

Christmas is here!

And I think I found my Christmas cheer!

Between Serena's Christmas play, Ryan's Christmas party, Serena's Christmas concert, Xander's Christmas concert, visiting my Chicago family this weekend, Christmas eve with the Woltering family, Christmas Day with Ryan's family and my family, I am ready.